The sometimes flawed art of blogging

There were many times during my rather short career as a blogger that I encountered the words, ”...stopped speaking to me because of something I wrote on this blog…” And while there are some bloggers that set out to hurt and offend people, most of ours are “kind blogs”, as Karen calls it, who are blogging to share our lives, to make friends, to learn, to teach, to be inspired, to be creative.

In the words of the ever wise Suroor, “you can only give examples of family and family should have enough trust in you to understand that you are not ridiculing them”... And it is true, it is something that all of us, as bloggers, do… from the very famous, to the not so famous… like me…

In some ways our regular readers know us better than the people in our real lives, they can pick up our mood, our tone, the real meaning of our words. And sometimes when family or friends see an unexpected reference to themselves in our articles, they can no longer think objectively of our thoughts and words, it becomes less about us, and more about them.

As a blogger, we try to tell our story in an interesting way, sometimes humorous, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes with love, it’s just our way… and sometimes to get the whole picture, it is necessary to read more than just one article.

A tip to fellow bloggers… people will still be offended by your articles and/or comments despite your best efforts, so just try your best to let them know that you had no malice in your heart and any offense was not your intent. And also keep in mind that we, as bloggers, are fairly comfortable talking about ourselves, our lives, and our struggles in a public forum, but this is not the case for everyone.

This is one of the fine lines of blogging I guess, how much is too much, what is too personal, I mean, sometimes things that are totally benign in our view, can be seen as nothing short of vile by someone else…

But to stop blogging, I think, would be a shame, because in less than a year, I have gained so many friends, learned so much, been inspired by so many fellow bloggers, saved my sanity as a stay at home mom, felt love, shared love, and just gained so much more than I ever imagined.

Thoughts from Suroor

I have not told many of my relatives and friends about my blog mainly because I don’t want anyone to spoil it for me. Some people are born with paranoia; you can do nothing about that. They either truly believe that you are scorning/ridiculing them or they just throw tantrums for attention. In any case, I will not apologise for what I never intended/meant. If someone misunderstands me it’ll be their loss in the long run.

Yes, I am crude

Thoughts from Sid

Yeah, I agree – You will never be able to please everyone – even with something as simple and seemingly harmless, like blogging. So, I say, just keep on on bloggin bloggers!!!

Thoughts from Maliha

Salamaat,
its always a weird balance…i try to keep my blog a-personal and deal with “issues” instead of personal life…for me its an escape…although, I do threaten some of my family (jokingly) that I will blog about them (in a not so nice way) if they give me a hard time

Thoughts from shaz

lol Maliha!

thanks Sid.

very true, Suroor.

Thoughts from crunchy carpets

Yeah I only told my mom about it..and mainly because a) I want her to do her own one and b) because I thought it might be entertaining for her to see how I speak to the world.

I have not really told the rest of the family…friends, fine..family…well then I can’t * about them!

Hubs reads it and I have had to show him that it is NOT a blog about bashing my husband…he is verrry insecure.

He is okay with it all now.

Thoughts from Mona UmIbrahim

All my family and friends know about my blog. My husband knows too but as far as i know does not read it unless i physically sit him down to read a post.
I don’t write much about my family because i always have so many other things on my mind.
I try my best not to offend, which is hard with Islamic and parenting issues. You can’t please everyone though, that’s for sure. And you want to be honest at the same time. So what i do is i always write using the word ‘we’. If you use ‘you’, you’re going to offend someone and people will think you’re speaking down to them. But when you admit that you too are struggling, it’s not offending.

Thoughts from Raquita

I just recently found out that my whole family reads my blog, the whole thing. and they were all surprised that I didn’t know that they all read my blog regularly.
I’ve never been the person who couldn’t say what ever I was thinking, so my blog is often just a recap for them, and I never blog when I am angry at the people I love. and by the time I am not mad any more other things have happened and require my blogging attention.

So I guess I just lucked out. 

By the way – I am so Jealous you have IKEA’s everywhere so totally jealous.

Thoughts from Aisha

I lost a friend over my blog and its funny because I make an effort not to be controversial. Though in that case it was for the best, its not a good feeling to offend others.

Thoughts from Surviving

At this point I have chosen not to share my blog with people I know.  I mentioned to my husband that I have a blog but he wouldn’t know how to find it.  I’m not really comfortable sharing it with others right now.

Thoughts from shaz

crunchy, my husband reads mine as well… he likes it, but didn’t read any other blogs… until recently!

mona… I understand, I try to do that as well.

Raquita.. it is actually a good way to let out your feelings if you are someone that has a hard time expressing yourself verbally.

Aisha, sorry about your friend. I try to be non-offensive on mine as well, which I think my regular readers should know about me, but you can’t please everyone! And something that I wrote on this blog actually did offend someone, who has basically stopped talking to me as well!

Surviving, it is a good outlet, and I think if only people that don’t know we don’t know are reading it, then we can prolly be more free to express how we really feel, without fear of “what people will say”…