Talk to me or I’ll cut your tail

Although this summer was not my first time caring for all my 3 kids full-time, it was certainly my most trying period. I think that school really changes a child, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse, but mostly, because they grow accustom to having activities all day, they become bored very quickly when faced with no planned “fun”, which of course is especially challenging for a work at home mother.

As I struggle to be a mother and freelancer, I sometimes get to the point of complete and utter frustration, and at one of those times, from somewhere deep within the recesses of my mind, came words that I haven’t heard since I was a child, “Do it or I’ll cut your tail!!”, which I am sure many of you will remember from your own childhood, no?, just me then?, ok, well for those of you that don’t, I am sure that you had your own variation for a threat that loosely translates to, “Do it or I’ll motivate your with my hand on your butt!”

I said it, of course hoping that my son would listen to me and comply with my demands, but instead, my 4 year old exclaimed, “cut my tail? ahahahaha!! what does that mean? ahahahaha! I don’t even have a tail! ahahahaha!” Effectively destroying the ‘threat-iness’ of my statement, and causing me to laugh along with him.

What’s the weirdest thing you ever threatened your kids with, or were threatened with as a kid?

Thoughts from Koonj

this isn’t a threat for the kid, but the other day, not long after our ant invasion, i found an ant near the baby, and i said “damn you, ant, get away or i’ll cut off your penis!”

(sorry - this is a family-friendly blog

Thoughts from Tasmiya

Oh I’m never good with threats. My mother once told us, “Oh you children will be the death of me!” I was horrified she could say such a thing.
Until I had my own kids. I’ve never said it, but gosh some days I feel as though they are killing me!

Thoughts from Don't Eat My Buchela!

lol!  I have never heard of that.  Of course your son laughed!

Thoughts from sf

My mom used to tell us that if she could take us back(to the womb or wherever we came from),she would. So one day I tell my oldest and she starts laughing and she says “they have to cut you open again and I will be too big and you won’t be able to walk!”. :D

Thoughts from shaz

Koonj - hahaha! I could kinda picture it!

Tasmiya - I think my mom still says that to my siblings! I know exactly what she means too.

Yemi - I know eh! It’s a Trinidadian thing I think and I think that what they really say is “I’ll cut you a$$!”

sf - lol, kids are so smart these days - I say that to my kids too, and they always have some retort for me!

Thoughts from Homayra

My dad use to always threaten me by saying he’d fix my head in between my two ears. Some sort of guju threat apprantly which sounds menancing when said in guju to a lil kid. So I would get all scared thinking of a distorted body till one day it dawned upon me hey wait a minute my head is already between my ears!

Thoughts from shaz

welcome Homayra! Interesting… it’s funny how many weird threats parents can come up with huh?!

Thoughts from Oh, The Joys

I love that you laughed when he did.

Thoughts from Mona UmIbrahim

When i had my first child i was saying all kinds of crazy things that i remembered my mom saying. Then i saw that show Supernanny on TV and then bought her book. So now i threaten with the naughty chair (which is actually the first step of the stairs). They get one warning at eye level. If they do it again i take them to sit on the step while explaining to them why and set the oven timer for the minutes = to their age. At the end they have to say sorry and i explain the rule again. This saves me from saying something i would regret later.

Thoughts from Lisa (the girls' moma)

I say the funniest things sometimes to my two daughters.  Some of them aren’t really funny to them but hilarious to adults around.  Especially when I have to revert to reverse psychology : “Ok, fine, you don’t want to give Mommy a good-bye kiss?  Ok, no kisses for you, then.”

I just laugh sometimes at the things that come out of my mouth.  My daughter was standing up in her chair at the table trying to stand on her head (I swear I was right there, she moves SO FAST) and I had to say “We do not stand on our heads at the table.”