Talk to me and the proverbial straw

So you’re in the middle of the ocean with your significant other, who managed to get you both lost, on a tiny little row boat with only one paddle, you just ate your last morsel of food and drank your last drop of water, you’re just about to give up all hope of being rescued when you see an island way out in the distance! You are desperate to get to the island because you are not fond of water and this trip was your partner’s idea, you paddle as fast as you can until you just can’t do it anymore, then your partner takes over and somehow manages to lose the paddle!

No, I didn’t get lost at sea this weekend, but I did feel like I was losing my mind a little! I was an over-worked, under-appreciated, always-with-the-kids, work at home mom, I did not take my own advice and have a mom escape, I allowed myself to get to the point of exhaustion and it was not pretty.

It’s my first September as a work at home mom, and the challenge that this week presented me with was an unexpected and apparently difficult one, I let myself get lost in my deadlines, I did not prioritize getting the kids into a new routine, then at the end of my week, when I could hardly recognize myself, I decided that blame for all of it, and may be even global warming, should placed directly on my husband’s shoulders.

As I reflect upon it now, I think that we completely failed to plan for this new phase in our life, we just sort of remained in the free-spirited, routine-free, mindset of summer, but with the workload of fall and three kids that just acted out a bit more than they should have because they were not really sure what to do. My husband surely has contributed to this problem, although he does try to let me work, I think that he has the misconception that I do not require the same quiet time to work on my projects that I afford him, or perhaps I give him the idea that I don’t need support, because as you know, we moms can be control freaks sometimes!

Please tell me how you keep your balance during stressful times?

Thoughts from Mezba

Um… blogging?

Thoughts from umarah

mayb i m wrong but i guess one of ur kids is more than 3 so isnt he suppose to b in kindergarten.i think school can b an easy option.

Thoughts from shaz

umm, thanks mezba!

umarah, my eldest is in school, but I don’t know, still it was a bit insane… I think because it was everything in addition to school preparations and the other 2 at home seemed to be sort of more needy without the eldest (or because of the change).

Thoughts from Koonj

"My husband surely has contributed to this problem, although he does try to let me work, I think that he has the misconception that I do not require the same quiet time to work on my projects that I afford him, or perhaps I give him the idea that I don’t need support, because as you know, we moms can be control freaks sometimes!”

I try to give mine that impression but he becomes solidly unaware. They can do that, filter out hints and calls for help. Much better than we do. The slightest sigh and we’re there to help. We just need to raise our boys and girls differently, man. This whole system aint workin.

Thoughts from sf

My youngest is at home with me now and she wants ME to keep her *occupied*! It’s crazy but alhamdullilah, she is getting into *routine*. I need to get a hobby now! Right now am *cleaning* the closets(long overdue and also coz of ramadhan). Happy Ramadhan to you and yours. Btw, I totally agree with Koonj! :D

Thoughts from shaz

Koonj - you are so right. i think that my husband at least was brought up with his mother doing everything in the home and his dad working - but when we have to work as well as take care of the home, it gets to be a little much!

The thing is that I don’t leave all 3 kids with my husband for too long, i worry, and I feel like he just cannot manage - may be he can, may be he can’t - I really don’t know, but I do know that he assumes at all times that *I* alone am responsible for the kids - if he needs to use the bathroom, he closes the door and does so, if he needs to go somewhere he goes, if he needs to do something in the basement he doesn’t care where the kids are - it’s completely the mindset, I am with the kids, I take care of them, they are completely my responsibility, and THAT really has to change! because my head is about to explode!

Thoughts from Surviving

I definitley understand what you are going through.  We have the same probelms at my house.  It will be interesting to see how things change this week with me working part time as well.  Of course now he will have to do more for the boys now that I will be gone in the mornings.  I nervous about the mess I may end up coming home too, lol.

Thoughts from Neena

How about making your hubby responsible for say an hour or two a day for all kids so you can do whatever you like. BTW, my husband and I are keep postponing kids as not one of us can sacrifice our career for kids.

Thoughts from Em

Salaam.
Oh dear! I thought it was exactly at times like these that a significant other would be able to set things straight :S.

I’m very sad to hear of your terrible first week of September. If my dear old mousehunter sometimes doesn’t get it, spell it out for him. We men are often slow in picking up hints… please don’t put that against us! I hope my darling wifey would let me know what’s bothering her instead of suffering in silence!

And what I do keep my balance? Hop on to the bed and try to put things in perspective. I try to remember Allah more, and if it’s really bad enough, I call family.