Redefining life as a work at home mom
About 4 months ago, I officially became a ‘work at home mom’, or wahm, or momtrepreneur, which ever one you prefer it means the same thing, we are balancing our babies and our businesses.
I’d be lying if I said that my life has been totally great and I don’t regret it for a moment. There are days when I feel like a complete failure, there are days when I threaten my sons that I will go back to my “office building” if they don’t give me a chance to do my work, and there are days when my husband solely takes care of the kids while I criticize his parenting skills.
In one word, it has been an ‘adventure’! You know, the kind where you’re laughing one minute, crying the next.
It takes stamina to run a business from home. It is not for every mom, but I really think that stay at home parents need something to do besides mould young minds. The somewhat monotony and lack of mental stimulation can be almost overwhelming for most, and personally, I feel that having a creative outlet helps me be a better mom to my kids.
Strategies to be an efficient work at home mom (in no particular order, they are all equally important to me)
- Schedules, Routines and Organization
Routines really help kids! Our family now operate pretty well in our new routine, it was developed so that the kids know what to expect next in their day, which I find really help them understand the difference between “play time”, “food time”, “nap time”, and of course “mommy work time”.
Generally my work time tends to coincide with their “nap times”, and while they are awake, my husband and I will work out a babysitting schedule beforehand, to make sure that most of the time at least one of us is not actively working and is spending time with the kids.
I am not an organized person, but I’ve found it important to have a designated work area with everything I need close at hand, this area does not need to be an entire room, all you need is a little corner of your home, for a long time I had only a computer armoire to call my own.
- Flexibility & Mobility
While schedules, routines and organization are important, I find that I also need to be very flexible. Kids, as well as clients, tend to be unpredictable at times, needing attention just when we thought it was safe to let our guard down.
Although most days with my kids are good, they can be outright unbearable at times, times when I feel like running away and never looking back. But at these times, I remind myself that I am not super-anything, I try to focus on getting things done as ‘bite-size’ tasks… so I hold and soothe my kids while I respond to my client and once everything is ok, I go hug my little ones back to sleep!
At times it may be necessary to work while on the couch while the kids play with their LeapPad learning system
, or computer games, or out in the backyard while they play in the sandbox, and at these times I try to do only really urgent or time-sensitive work, and my kids are generally happy to play on their own at these times because I don’t make a habit of doing it to often.
- Community & Support
There is a common misconception among mothers I think, that we feel like we’re in it alone. But, there is support all around; we just need to be willing to accept it! My mom, sisters, and husband has been an amazing source of support, I just have to learn how not to be a ‘backseat driver’ now.
And community is no longer just confined to your neighborhood, it’s now much, much wider, as we find that we respect people because of the way they write, we are inspired by others whom we’ve never met, that we are encouraged by words of kindness from new friends.
To all of you, my community, my friends, thanks for your support and encouragement, it has helped me to face my fears and take chances!
- Manageable Goals
Early on in my ‘career’, I would tell clients I could have everything done right away, because that’s what I was expected to do at my full time corporate job, but I soon realized that it was in nobody’s interest to overwork myself, not to mention the lost credibility of giving clients delivery dates that I could not meet! Now, I usually give myself a generous amount of time for each project, ensuring that I can get it done on time (unforeseen circumstances notwithstanding), and so my client is happy, my family is happy, and I am not as stressed out.
Of course as a start up, I am working on a lot of my own projects in addition to clients’ projects, which means that I am always busy regardless… Ah! No system is perfect! Let’s just try to do the best we can!
- Quality Family Time & Balance
Neglecting husbands is likely a common side-effect of momtrepreneur-hood, especially in the early stages, when the excitement, fear, and exhaustion lead to serious emotional-dysfunction! Or was that just me?
Having sort of been down that path before, it was a little easier for us to stay connected in spite of our almost chaotic life. Now that it’s summer we try to go for walks as a family in the evenings, or go to the park or playground together, or even just a quick game in the backyard. In winter time, it was skating, indoor play areas, or movies, together as a family.
Finding balance is really the key to being mom, wife and entrepreneur, and it’s actually easy to find balance, it’s just a matter to dividing your day and week between work, play, and household duties, what’s hard sometimes is the ability to put your mind off the outstanding work focus only on the moment!
- Alone-time & Meditation
While I don’t really meditate, I do pray at scheduled times during the day. Praying, for me, brings me comfort and inner peace, and makes me remember things that are truly important. Sometimes it’s hard to do this without kids hanging off me, or shouting at me, or walking up and down in front of me, but when I can actually do it all by myself, it’s a great way to recharge your batteries.
I don’t watch TV regularly, maybe 3 hours per week, if so much, I prefer to go out with my sisters or mom, so I get some time away from the kids. Or my husband would take the boys out to play while the baby sleeps, and I’ll spend some time by myself. In return, since the kids go to bed pretty early, my husband will occasionally go out go-karting (he likes it), or watch movies that he enjoys. We are really trying to make sure that neither of us get to a ‘breaking-point’, which can so easily happen in these situations.
Of course sometimes we end up arguing and grumpy with each other all day, and I guess that’s normal, but even then we let it go at the end of the day because we know it’s just the stress.
- Play Hard
The old adage, ‘work hard, play hard’, is so true! You know, now that we are playing squash regularly, I am really loving having a way to just release the stress and tension, and just totally unwind. It’s worked out great for my husband and me because it’s also a way for us to spend time together, but even if it’s not convenient to leave the kids with someone else, then taking the entire family to a park and playing catch, soccer, baseball or even cricket is a wonderful option and it’s free!
I do prefer this life to working 9+ hours in an office building and being away from my kids for 12-14 hours everyday, I feel extremely fortunate to be able to take this path, which is challenging but also rewarding. But for stay at home moms in general and even working moms, a similar strategy is still necessary to make our busy lives seem less busy.
if God wills. I have some grand ideas of my own.
