Breaking routines… good, bad, or ugly?

My 4 year old, best known for his revolutionary potty training techniques, woke up this morning and decided that he didn’t feel like going to school. And, being in a sleepy haze this morning, I somehow rationalized that the 45 minute mad dash to get him school-worthy was more difficult than 9 hours alone with 3 kids! He did ‘promise’ to be good all day!

We had a great breakfast together, they enjoyed each other, they laughed and talked, they were all “I like you mommy”, and I guess being ‘high’ on this unscheduled love-fest with my babies made me give in to their requests for a movie instead of their routine nap-time.

All went well for about 30 minutes, then their attention was gone, the little ones started rubbing their eyes, the eldest started chatting… all was lost… I threatened to take off the movie, but then I thought crying was slightly more irritating! When the baby started complaining, I knew it was time to take action… so I got them ready for naptime, albeit a little later than usual.

But see, the thing about routines is that when it’s not followed, things tend to fall apart, I mean there were tantrums, tears, threats, and you know that it’s hard on the kids as well!

I find that as a stay at home mom now, it’s hard for me to be flexible with my schedule, it’s hard for me to keep it together when things don’t go as planned or expected, it’s just almost impossible to maintain my sanity when my kids refuse naptime! I’m like Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde when my alone-time is threatened!

I am learning that the best way to handle the situation where my kids don’t do as I expect, is to have a contingency plan… I try to say to myself, for example, if they don’t go to sleep, I will let them colour quietly while I work. Sometimes this does work, but sometimes I just don’t have the strength to be a good, rational mother… sometimes I just force them to sleep with semi-empty threats of toys being taken away!

Oh, I think if they were capable of expressing themselves more eloquently, they would say “You know mommy, we are not going to sleep, even if you’re mad, and in fact, your anger is giving us the strength to challenge you, and if you just let us remain awake, we would be quiet because we are tired, and that way you can work instead of feeling guilty for being angry, and then, we’ll go to bed much earlier tonight!”

Thoughts from Mona UmIbrahim

Salam Shazia, definately been there many times. As they say – live and learn. I found that even I get irritable when a routine is broken, and i’m an adult LOL

Thoughts from Sid

Funnnnny!!!!

Thoughts from Yemi

Oh yeah, naps.  Never skip them or you WILL be punished:)

Thoughts from Faryal

Asalamu Alaikum Shazia,
I can’t believe you wrote about this…. it has been a source of much grief for the past few weeks… I thought (and I’m serious) I was the only one concerned with “me time”. I have friends with small kids, and no one talks about this.. it made me feel as though it’s taboo. Yeah, every mom needs some time to unwind.. but I’ve NEVER heard any mom complain (*sorry, I do it all the time) that her “me time” was zapped. For the past few weeks, I have had no me time… you know time to study, read, on the sofa, by yourself with a hot cup of tea…

The reason: the kids have been resistant to napping! and the younger one wakes up at 6am, and the older one won’t go to sleep until I do…

Thank you thank you for bringing up this issue, I am SO happy there are others out there like me…

Thoughts from Suroor

I hear you! I hear you! I hear you!

Nodding excessively

Thoughts from SuburbanOblivion

I’m having the same problem right now, my daughter is in 3rd grade, but my boys are ages 2 and 3, and neither have been napping lately. It drives me INSANE! I need a quiet house for awhile, since they drag me out of bed at 6:30 every morning! Ugh. As I write this I hear both of them up and playing in their rooms, but I’ve put them both back to bed 3x and I’m too tired to pull myself out of the chair to do it again.

Thoughts from Oh, The Joys

Would yours really go to bed earlier? Not mine!

Thoughts from shaz

Mona, we really need routines too, being at home with the kids… I would have a meltdown without one I think!

Faryal… walaikum salaam, I don’t know if there are moms who are able to function all day without a break from the kids, but I know if ain’t me! don’t worry… you are so not alone! I think that I am a better mother if I have a break from the kids.

Suroor

SuburbanOblivion…oh I sooooo know what you mean! I really, really need my quiet time during the day. sometimes when I hear them not napping, I just keep typing to and pretend that I don’t hear anything! lol

Joys, yes they actually do go to bed earlier when they miss their naps! sanity-saver for me!!

Thoughts from Tasmiya

I think the worst is not having that contingency plan because that is what gets me so frustrated, the expectation that there will be a nap and then the reality that there is NONE! so well done you for thinking about that.

I survive by not expecting ANY me time until the children are in bed for the night(I guess it’s much harder for you as you are working at home).

Husband knows that straight after they are in bed, I am on the computer or reading or having a nice hot shower (bliss!)and PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB ME for 15 minutes.

Thoughts from shaz

wow Tasmiya… you don’t get a break all day??? I guess it is all about expectations, our mind seem to be able to handle things if we know what to expect.

you’re really strong… I would need MUCH more than 15 minutes!