Parenting Strategies: how to get kids to clean up

My kids are notorious non-tidy-up’ers! They absolutely hate to clean, and it seems that no amount of motivational songs, threats, or rewards can help the situation. It actually amazes me to hear the elaborate excuses that 3 and 4 year olds can think up!

I used to go on for about half an hour trying very hard to convince them that cleaning was ‘fun’, ‘smart’, ‘healthy’, you know, I used just about any adjective I thought would serve as encouragement, and yet nothing. Then, I started with the threats, “I WILL give it away!”, “I WILL throw it in the garbage!”, “I WILL give it to the baby!”, but they would then dare me to do it! Mind you, many of their toys are now sitting in the basement and even more have been given to charity. But I found it hard to just take away the toys that I know they love, and they’d caught on to my weakness.

Recently, I discovered a technique that works so well, I don’t even have to threaten anymore! One day, as they sat ignoring my pleas to remove their toys from the floor before I swept, without warning, I just started sweeping away their toys. I have never seen them work so fast before – they jumped from their seats and ran to remove their toys from my path! Now, when I tell them I am going to sweep away their toys, they instantly start putting everything back into the toy box.

Last night though, they were extremely tired from missing their daytime nap, and when I started to sweep the toys, they both completely lost it and started screaming and crying very loudly, so loudly that I was fearful a neighbor might have called child services! But, the trick is to remain completely calm and unconcerned with their crying. I just calmly gave them the options, and calmly told them that I was going to sweep whether they cried or not (more crying ensued, of course), then the baby got very worried about his toys and started to pick them up. As I neared the end of the living room, I started counting, and told them that they had until I counted to 20 and then the toys would be gone, thankfully this worked and the place was clean by the time I reached 39 (they requested 19 additional counts).

How do you get your kids to clean?

Thoughts from nuh ibn gondek

As salaam alaikum.

I was just surfing through and though I’d post a quick note.

Masha’Allah! Great blog.

I write a little about Islam --come by insha’Allah if you have some time to read.

Ma’as salaama,
nuh ibn

Thoughts from Achelois

non-tidy-up’ers?! I like that term I’m stealing it!

Thoughts from sf

I do the same thing ie threaten by telling her that am going to give them away, and now she’s become much smarter than me and tells me that it’s ok, she no longer “needs” them(btw,she adds by telling me that it’s time for some new ones!). Baby still doesn’t get the idea yet, she helps by putting all the blocks in the bag (then takes them out again) and declares “DONE!”.
My mom used to throw our school bags/shoes outside just to get us “going” in the cleaning up part, this was always after we came back from school in the afternoon and just threw our stuff on the dining table.

Thoughts from Umm Yusuf

Thanks for sharing! I think it depends on the ages. For my three year old and one year old I just try to make it a game and sing a silly song with them while we’re cleaning up. For older kids.......well, my older sister used to pack up her kids toys and clothing and make them deposit them at the goodwill. She lost a lot of money but hey, they cleaned up on time from then on.

Thoughts from shaz

Achelois, embrace it as your own dear!

sf, baby cleaning is just the cutest thing! seriously, I love how they put things and are so proud then take things back out and are again, so proud!

Umm Yusuf, yes, I think the older they get, the harder it is to convince them that cleaning is fun!