My last strange post, I hope
Back in 2003, you may remember a little something termed shock and awe, I was at home and somewhat mesmerized by the images on the news, I watched it day and night, basically rendering myself almost completely non-functional. I had never in my life seen anything that terrifying. After a while, I finally looked away. Subsequently, I realized that I had a problem handling “sadness”. I really could not handle it. I banned myself from anything sad – news, movies, stories – whatever it was, as long as it was sad, I avoided it like the plague.
In very recent times, I thought, for some reason, that I was able to handle things again, so I sort of, like everyone else, immersed myself into learning about this Gaza crisis and then did not sleep for days. Again, it bothered me to the point of me being almost non-functional, except now I have kids, and work, and more work, and a million other things that bother me and everything rendered me overwhelmed.
So, I just stopped. I blocked out the news, the photos, the stories, everything, and I was able to sleep for the past 3 nights. I feel a thousand times better, but guilty, sort of, because I am back to pretending that nothing horrific is happening anywhere. Most times for me to “operate” I need to block out my feelings, so there you go… that’s my story. Thanks for the emails, thoughts, and concerns, I always appreciate it!
