Motherhood: never a win-win situation
I’m not going to talk about Sarah Palin, or Sarah Palin, or, umm, Sarah Palin, or, wait, even, Sarah Palin, because, honestly 1) I don’t know enough to have an opinion on the woman and 2) I am waaay too exhausted to make myself care to know enough to have an opinion on the woman. Sad, I know.
When I started working again a few months ago, my mom and the kids’ dad would get them dressed for school, and I would pick them up and take care of them in the evenings, and it went well except that I always felt like I missed the mornings with them and I never got to make them breakfast or lunch which meant that I couldn’t be sure they were eating enough. It also meant that my mom had to wake up early, drive to my house and help out, and I do not like the idea of burdening anyone with my responsibilities.
Since school started again though, I’ve switched my schedule so that I can be there in the mornings… I get dressed early, wake up my littlest before 7am, drop him to my moms house, come back home, get the other 2 up and fed and dressed, then drop them off to school, then get to the train station before 9am. Then, in the evenings, I go pick them up from my mom’s house and take them home for dinner and everything else… it’s exhausting, to say the least.
I hate that I have to take my, usually sleeping, baby and drop him off without being able to spend any time with him, I hate that it’s always a bit of a rush for me in the mornings, I hate that it’s a HUGE rush in the evenings because I don’t want to leave them too long without me since I know everyone is usually tired. And I’ve realized that no matter what we do, as mothers, it will never be enough, it will never be win/win, we will never feel like we’re doing everything right, but I feel like the most we can do is try, and I really want to believe that the best that we can do will be ok. Right?
I swear there’s always something to feel guilty about isn’t there?
