Motherhood, Employment, Freelancing: Is “Balance” still possible?
read more about: mom of a few. parenting strategies. working.
When I decided to find a real job back in April, there were a few things I knew that I did not want. I didn’t want a corporate-type job, which almost always becomes amazingly stressful, I didn’t want a “senior” position with any type of huge responsibilities, essentially – I didn’t want a job I had to think about once I walked out of the building, you know – been there, done that, don’t need to do it again! There were a few things that I knew I wanted for sure, I wanted an easy commute (although I hated it at first, I am really loving taking the train now), I wanted to work at a not-for-profit (so at least I could feel like I was doing something to benefit others), I wanted flexibility in the hours that I had to work.
I earnestly applied to one job, I went on one job interview, and luckily it matched all of my criteria. They offered, I accepted, and I’ve been really enjoying most of it since. The one thing about working outside my house that really frustrates me is that I cannot be there for my kids like I used to when I was working from home. Adjusting to working full time as a mother was hard, and even switching up my schedule didn’t seem to make things better!
My contract ended last month – the full time one – I renewed it to be part-time instead. Here’s how I am making it work, for now at least.
1) Great Boss
For me, having an understanding manager is key. It’s important to have a good relationship – he knows that I’ll get the job done when I need to, and so he lets me have the time off that I need. Of course coffee and treats does not hurt asbriberya show of appreciation!2) Flexibility
I’ve changed my schedule so many times that everyone at work now ask “so, when are you in again?”. But I needed to see what timings work best for my kids and I, so it’s been sort of a work-in-progress. I am lucky in that my work does not require me to be physically in the office, or be there at specific times, so I am able to have a lot of flexibility.3) Choose a part-time position
A full-time job was just not working for us, I had very little time with the kids daily and it really bothered me. Most evenings when we came home, I had just enough time to wash them and put them to bed! I would have to trust their word on things like homework and hunger. I didn’t like that mode of operation. With a part-time arrangement, I now can spend my evenings with them, I make sure that they’re fed, I check through their school work, I can listen to their stories, I can read with them and to them, and I am not exhausted all the time!4) Commute
Be careful with your commute. Sitting in traffic is slightly infuriating to me and is really not something that should even be a possibility when time is so precious. I chose to commute with a train because I can relax and unwind – it’s 40 minutes of “alone-time” each way. It means I don’t have to rush anywhere or for anything, I can calmly read or just “chill”! If you do enjoy driving however, then you should do that instead – I think it’s important that our commute is something that we can, in some way at least, enjoy, because it may end up being the only time alone that we get to have all day.5) The actual “job”
For me, right now, a job that is low stress and easy trumps “challenging”. I love being able to interact with my co-workers, I love being in T.O., I love the city, so the perks are definitely there for me, they are just different from what I might have looked for 7 years ago.6) On freelancing
In addition to working part-time hours, I’ve also cut down the number of days that I go out to work. A couple days a week I stay at home, mostly to care for my almost 3 year old, but also so that I work on my freelance web development jobs. It works out quite well because I just need 1 contract a month to earn the same amount of money as working full-time. If you can find something to do at home to supplement your part-time income, I think it’s an excellent way for parents with young kids especially, to get the best of both worlds, so to speak.7) “It’s all good”
Being a working mom, and now a single mom, I’ve realized that routines are like my sidekick and nemesis, all in one. Routines are so important for me and for the kids – to keep me sane, to keep them knowing what to expect – but everyday seems to be chuck full of new frustrations and challenges, and require emergency routine changes, so you know, we learn to “go with the flow” and all that! I’ve realized something very important, things manage to work themselves out in time, and we really just need to be patient, and learn to let things be sometimes.8) Support
Last but not least, make sure that you have a reliable support network. My sister and mom are awesomely awesome in terms of support to my kids and I, and I’ll be eternally grateful for them! And the friends who really seemingly came out of nowhere, but are now so integral to my finding “happiness”!
In general, as parents, we all have to manage a lot, but it’s important that in addition to taking care of our kids, we take care of ourselves. Our moods tend to affect our kids’ behavior, and although we can’t always be in a fantastic mood, just reminding ourselves that hardship only lasts for a finite period seems to help a bit. Also helpful is spending a few moments each day to do something just for yourself, making sure that you try to eat meals on time, things like that – generally try to stay healthy and I think that you’ll notice it goes a long way in the “better mood” department!
