Middle child syndrome strikes again!

Sometimes we really suck at putting the kids to bed! A combination of things cause our good parenting skills to take a hike… work, tiredness, or exhaution, too many kids, dishes to be washed, decreased number of brain cells that day… mostly, because parents are not ‘always’ good parents.

Like tonight, kids watched a movie in our room (so we could get some work done) before bedtime… instead of a song and a book. After it was over, my 3 year old, aka first born, said to his dad “I want you to lift me up and take me to my bed”. My husband cradled him, pillow and blanket in tow, and put him in bed. Meanwhile, my 2 year old stood up, hugged his pillow with one hand, used the other hand to drag his blanket, and started to make his way to his bed.

My heart broke to see my poor little son, so used to being left out, so used to having to do everything on his own, with a very confused, sad, but strong and determined look on his face. I rushed to get him, almost throwing my laptop off the bed, scooped him up in my arms… pillow and blanket and all… covered him with kisses and took him to his bed. Guilt? Love? I don’t know which feeling was stronger.

Guilt for all the times that he has been passed over because he is not the first (or the last), guilt for all the times that I forget that he is only 2 years old and still just a baby, guilt for all the stories that I read to my first born but not to him, but the love is just the same… never compromised.

Being the first born, I cannot relate… but I am sure my sister can write a book on the topic!