Coming back to me

For the past 5 years I’ve been pretty much pregnant, breastfeeding, or suffering for some sort of postpartum stress, and as is common with so many of us, I lost myself to motherhood.

Since my last pregnancy, a little more than 2 years ago, I’ve been wearing this exact same pair of DKNY running shoes, yes, through rain, sleet and snow even. I think I’ve even worn them to a wedding once! What’s sad about this is that I love shoes, seriously I.LOVE.SHOES, yet, for the past 5ish years I’ve completely worn out about 3 pairs of shoes and they all look pretty much like the one above.

Last week I looked at my shoes and thought about me, I thought that I can barely recognize myself anymore, I wondered why I get so emotional over the simplest things, I stressed over all the responsibilities that now belonged to me, but most of all I decided that I need new shoes!

You know when I was a non-mommy, I was obsessed with making sure my skin was not dry, so obsessed that I would put both vaseline and baby oil on at night, and now I don’t even use lotion! Surely being a mommy does not means that we need to neglect ourselves… go do something nice for yourself right now! As for me, I’m going to buy new shoes, and perhaps lotion.

Thoughts from Baraka

Salaam - great post!

I’ve been thinking along the same lines for totally different reasons. After 5 years of dealing with a medical condition day in & day out I am looking for myself again.

Good luck to you - I think it’s great that you want to do this for yourself and your family will love you for being a happy mum & wife & individual too!

Warmly,
Baraka

Thoughts from umarah

great post.its funny i was thinking the same thing.as is the case with alot of moms out there,i gained alot of weight after becoming a mom.and now that i am going to deliver again next month,i am seriously thinking of doing something about ´my figure after that.and it also makes me sad that i am not 30 yet and i do look like i have aged so much,not physically but also mentally.
thanks again for the post.

Thoughts from NAB

Aww. Try taking 2 mins after your shower time, when you’re still undressed, to quicky slather some lotion on yourself. Barely takes any time.

Oh, and use some extra massaging force on the cellulite-heavy regions btw - I think that works. I am trying it out now!

Thoughts from Robyn

oh my, we are on such the same wavelength, it brought tears to my eyes. Seriously. I feel like i’ve let myself go. My back started hurting yesterday and I had to think about when was the last time I exercised. I can’t remember. And I had a lame skin regimen before I had kids, now it’s non-existent. I want me back. I want to care about me. It’s so hard, though, when I have kids demanding my attention almost 24/7 and a husband I love dearly but who needs time, too. And then the other things I want or need to do. Taking care of myself seems so unimportant. but the thing is that I know it is very important. If I’m not healthy, how can I take care of the family? If I don’t look good, how can I teach my kids to care about how they look? And I’m not disciplined enough to really care to change anything. I am so lazy. But it’s got to get better because I just feel my days are running into each other and I’m forgetting what’s most important.

Thoughts from Asiya

Shaz, I have no idea how you manage to run a business, I can barely get my kids fed and dressed! It can feel as if the life has been slowly leeched from you, the physical drain is tough. Happy shopping!

Thoughts from iMuslim

I don’t think a non-mommy such as myself should read such posts! :/

Thoughts from Achelois

Believe me I know exactly what you are saying here although I still buy shoes all the time

Thoughts from koonj

Yep. I’m with you. But I’ve got to confess that my shoes BEFORE the baby looked um pretty much the same as yours, and they still do. I buy a similar pair from Payless, like, every year or so and wear it out. The one thing that might change things soon is a f/t job if it happens.

No exercise. But one thing I do do (let’s not jinx it though) - 3-step skincare. At 40 you can’t play around anymore. I’ve been doing it since I was 28, and now that’s all that remains - and lipstick and hair-dye. It does wonders for the way I feel about myself when I step out, even if I only go to drop the baby off at school. Adult to adult (in PERSON) interactions are very important for self-esteem.

Thoughts from Mona UmIbrahim

Shaz, those look comfortable, i think i’ll get a pair I know what you mean though, i have the same issues - same shoes, no personal care. I bought this bubble bath stuff and then i never used it and ended up giving it away as a gift. oh well.