And in the past 10 years, I…

One of my friends from high school forwarded me an email about a 10 year reunion. Obviously my first thought was ‘10 years’?! *! I am old!

And obviously my next move was to start ‘googling’ everyone on the list! (Oh, you know you would be doing the same thing!)

Now, I am not even thinking of going back to Trinidad with 3 little kids and 50 extra pounds, but just trying to imagine the conversation…

high school classmate: “Hey! I’m a criminal lawyer in London, you can find some of my articles in popular law journals! So what have you been up to?”
me: “Hi! Great to see you! What have I been doing for the past 10 years? hmmm, well, umm, did I tell you that I have 3 kids? Yeah! And you can find some of my articles on my very un-popular blog!”

Somehow, when in the company of former-classmates-that-are-now lawyers, doctors, engineers, people with a masters degrees in their discipline, or even just people who make a lot of money, saying that I am a ‘web developer on maternity leave with my third kid’ just rings of loooooserness!

I love the fact that I had my kids young, seriously, I do, but I often think about the possibilities and opportunities that I missed because at the i-can-be-anything-i-want age of 24, I chose to be a mommy!

My life did not unravel the way that I had anticipated. I had envisioned myself traveling the world, having adventures (not of the motherhood-type), pursuing education to the level of doctorate (funny huh?), and so many other things that just remain aspiring thoughts of an 18 year old. But, even with all my unrealized dreams, this unforeseen life that I share with my beautiful kids is so much more fulfilling that I could have ever imagined.

How do you feel when you meet people that you went to school with? Do you feel accomplished, or like a failure because your life just did not end up the way you intended?

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Thoughts from Umm J.

Assalaamu ‘alaikum.

Oh, I know the feeling. I had my first child before hitting 20, so I have also had the ‘I coulda done so much’ moments when I’ve been down.

No problems though. Allaah gives us many opportunites and though you have thre kids, there is SO much you can do with a lil organisation, motivation and a kick in the behind!

hug

~ Umm J.

Thoughts from mokey

okay! i’ve got one child who is 2 yrs old btw.i was 22 years old when i had him….life really has changed for me cause like yourself i had dreams of travelling around the world, studying etc…so this was totally unplanned…nonetheless,i love my baby & my husband very much and i dont regret any decision that i have made regarding them, but sometimes i do feel incomplete and think what would have happened if i didnt get married or have a child? i do feel like a loser at times when i ask myself all the ‘what ifs’...but i get by eventually with God’s help

Thoughts from crunchy carpets

Well my 20 year reunion is this month…....eeeeesh.

And I won’t be going.
I did the ten thing and hated it and found I didn’t CARE what anyone else was doing and I didn’t want to feel like I did in high school again either.

I had my kids late and life STILL didn’t unfold as I expected it back when I was 18….

Life is like that.

Thoughts from shaz

umm J… salaams, you are sure right! a kick in the behind can do wonders!!

mokey, I think things happen for the best. best wishes for the future.

crunchy carpets… yeah, life is like that! I wonder if anyone really enjoy high school reunions??

Thoughts from shaz

thanks sharen! I am glad that you all got a chance to reconnect at the reunion, it is true that when we don’t feel like we are being judged, we are more comfortable…

I am happy… ish… most of the time I don’t have regrets, and I think that is most important! I hope you keep reading!

Thoughts from sharen

Your post cracked me up…it turns out that even people who showed up were feeling status anxiety about the whole thing, regardless of the things they’d accomplished.

The reason I think it turned out to be more pleasant than I expected is that most people there seemed to have acknowledged that we had all chosen such different paths…and mine and yours are just as valid as any of the rest. So everyone seemed relaxed and..happy.

You sound happy. I couldn’t find the pictures of the kids … but your “he’s weird, she’s weirder” article was hysterical. I’m adding your unpopular blog to my bookmarks.