Adjusting to full-time, working outside of the home life

It’s not easy!

When I accepted a job in May, it meant that I would no longer be the work-at-home mom, it meant that, in addition to the things that I already had to do at home, I had to also schedule in 9 – 10 hours away from the house and my kids. I applied for only one job, a job that I knew would be very little stress, that is with a not-for-profit, where the timing is very flexible, where my boss is very understanding, and while I do enjoy the work and workplace, it pays me less than half of my normal hourly rate.

I really needed to work away from my home back then, for many reasons, and it was a blessing to get the exact conditions that I was looking for, and so I do not regret the decision. However, it is not ideal, and though “ideal” is probably never really attainable, I would have to say that I much prefer being a work-at-home mom.

I miss being with my kids every morning, I miss having time to spend with them, even if it was a bit stressful trying to manage my work efficiently while simultaneously trying to entertain 3 little boys. It seems like laundry is a never-ending battle, my room looks like it just heaved every single item of clothing from the house onto the floor, and the rest of the house is a complete disaster – although, this may or may not have been the situation even when I was working from home!

Scheduling has turned out to be a bit of a crisis, somehow it seems that “the man” always has the more important meetings, more important activities, more important engagements – well, you get the idea, but it makes me want to cry sometimes, just the shear insanity almost of trying to get everyone where the need to be, on time, happy, and still manage to not lose my own mind!

It’s a bit overwhelming, I am discovering, to try to manage everything. If you’re working outside the home and caring for a bunch of kids – how do you manage? Or even if you don’t – I need some help people – talk to me!

please

Thoughts from Dahlia

Right now I am not working (though I am furiously looking for work!) but my sister works full time, and has three kids.  Basically, she has started waking up a couple of hours earlier than she needs to so that she can do laundry, cook something, or clean up a little bit. 

Another mom I know who has four kids actually does all of her cooking after her children are asleep. So for example, she does her cooking for Tuesday on Monday night.

When my mom started working she got in the habit of cooking all the food for the entire week on the weekends- and she still does it. She cooks about five dishes on Saturday morning starting around 9 am and finishes around 1-2 pm.  Even though this kills your Saturday, it means you don’t have to worry about your house constantly smelling of Indian food every day, and you just have to microwave whatever it is that you want to eat each day. 

I hope these suggestions are helpful!

Thoughts from shaz

Thanks Dahlia! i do wake up early, but a lot of times i end up on my computer instead of doing housework, because i am trying to get my freelancing back up, and i always have a lot of emails that i need to answer etc. BUT i do think i should venture down to the basement and do some laundry in the morning as well - that’s a good idea.

i hate the idea of cooking everything on one day - i actually don’t have a problem with cooking, i enjoy doing it and my kids are usually just playing or colouring or watching a movie or something in the next room, so that is the one thing i actually am fine with! it’s just everything else!

also, if you can gift me with a chauffeur or something - that would be helpful too! lol

Thoughts from beyond

i dont work so that makes it not very helpful in your situation to understand.but i do know what is over whelming.i am free most of the times and actually looking forward to do some volunteer work.but because i never worked,if someday lots of things happen simultaneously i really freak out.and to think that you are doing it everyday.wow.but i guess you have mentioned your mom and sis in this blog a lot so may be they can help.i think it is a bit of a advantage of having a desi family.family help.

Thoughts from iMuslim

Oh wow… not sure what to say sis! I think your new business idea would help you a lot, as long as you think you can get work easily. I think it would provide you with the income, and flexibility too. Only issue is getting out of the house from time to time… but if you offered your services to local businesses, as well as online in general, that may solve your problem, insha’Allah?

Thoughts from Tasmiya

I think it gets easier as the children get older. My sister has three kids and works full time, her house is spotless, she always has homebaked chocolate cake, biscuits and cooks a different meal everyday FROM SCRATCH. Then again she could just be superwoman.

I don’t have any answers for you but I do have this one piece of advice - BREATHE!

And I totally understand about missing the children. I started my Saturdays back at work this weekend and I was miserable because I was missing the family. And I only work ONE day a week!

Thoughts from shaz

beyond - well, you know my entire family is always there for me and i am extremely grateful for that fact, sometimes its hard though because i don’t like being a burden on anyone.

iMuslim - yes, agreed. now if only i can work on my site!

Tasmiya - damn girl, can i have your sister??? Breathe, yes, i need to do that… especially needed it today. i feel better though, it helps to get it out and of course you guys always make me feel better! how is the job going?

Thoughts from Jen

I am terrified of this…I am a stay at home mom now, I do a tiny bit of freelance work and I blog and craft (blogging for free, crafting ideally for profit) from home. It’s stressful enough to manage everything at home, I really can’t imagine throwing working full time into the mix. (Although I guess the house would be cleaner if no one were home to mess it up)

Right now I really enjoy the lazy pace of our days, we get to just hang out and read and have play dates. I know I would miss that even though I am trying to gear up for the day when I will be working again full time.

But by then my (now 3 year old twin boys) may be in school…

Thoughts from shaz

Jen - well, it is easier if they are in school (it’s summer vacation now), but it’s still hard - lunch, dropping, picking up, after school activities, dinner - sometimes we have dinner like 8:30 and they are so exhausted! it’s really not easy. but if you are going back out to work, u MUST make sure that the timing is flexible and you have an understanding manager - i find these to be key! good luck!