To be with brothers.

My almost 4 year old has been in school for almost 3 weeks now. My 2 year old has been without his brother, his mentor, his hero, and his best friend. The baby has been without his biggest fan.

Its funny, the relationship of brothers, they are always fighting, the 2 year old is always crying because of acts of aggression by his older brother, yet still he is in tears every morning as the almost 4 year old leaves for school.

In the first days it was depressing at home, for me and for the other 2 boys (yes, even the baby). We missed him. His laughter, his constant chatter, his helpful nature, his screaming… (well, maybe not that part), it was extremely quiet and sad without him.

It was easier with only 2 kids, yet it was harder to be without him. Our balance was gone. Our routine only worked with him as a part of it.

My almost 2 year old has grown so accustomed to living in his brother’s shadow that now he is lost during the day. He doesn’t know what he should do. I try to do things with him, but it seems that I am not a good enough substitute for his brother!

When my eldest son walks in the door from school, the kindergartener is overjoyed. Totally ecstatic. And not even 1 minute later he is in tears because of something his brother did to him! Apparently it does not matter, because everyday is the same story!

The world of siblings is a weird, weird place! I know that when I was growing up, being the eldest, I would do really wicked things to my sister, like, locking her in the kitchen cupboard, or like, stealing all her toys, or like, ratting her out, and other things that I don’t remember, but am sure she does!

And yet, she followed me around like I was her queen (you might see a comment from her about that statement), she looked up to me, and I realize now that I was constantly threatened of her relationship with my parents, I mean she was the new kid and people usually like new things better, right? And being the eldest, I also felt like I had to take care of her, and correct her, like my parents did with me, and I felt like it was unfair when they punished me and not her, when it was obvious that she was the one at fault! Now, I can see this exact thing happening with my kids.

At least I have an excuse for the mistreatment now… obviously it was not my fault… I mean what is an eldest child to do?