Momtrepreneur report card

I recently started my adventure as a work at home mom type, and there have been moments when I felt like a complete failure, moments when I thought I was quite clearly losing my mind, and moments when I was apparently ‘not behaving good at all’ and had to be reprimanded by my 4 year old son – “mommy, you are using too many bad words today, too many! You have to stop it now!”

But as challenging as it is to work at home while caring for 3 small kids, it is not impossible, and can even be rewarding. Everyday I try to find the secret formula that would make this initiative ‘easy’, or less hard at least, I have a hunch though that there’s really no secret, instead we have to make do with some mommy-hacking and a few great strategies for working at home.

There are days when I literally just cry over the client deadlines, screaming kids, needy husband, and the complete disaster that is our house, and days when I just am so exhausted it’s almost impossible to even function, but then there are days when I create an entire website in only a few early morning hours and the client totally adores it, days when the house is clean, dinner is cooked, and I still have time for a dvd with my hubby, and days when I can drop everything and head out for a kiddie-sized adventure – and then I know that it’s all worth it.

If I had to pick one thing that I missed the most about a ‘real’ job, it would be having a team, or just people to interact with and talk to on a daily basis, people to share my ideas with and to get feedback from, but at least I do have my darling husband, who, ummm, at least tries to be supportive with his “it looks good, what else do you want me to say? I told you that all websites look the same to me!” standard response each time I solicit his opinion on one of my creations.

My almost-daily haunts are invaluable in inspiring and motivating, or just in making me feel connected, you know, like Chris – what can I say, the woman has 7 kids, and of course, Wendy – she must be like the queen of working at home! Jen talks about motherhood and wifey-hood in a way that I can really relate to, Randa is my example of a successful webby mom, to keep up with the single peeps, I love Organic’s little home in the blogisphere, and there are so many more of you, too many to list here, but I will have a list of my reads out soon.

After much trepidation, I finally began to publicize my portfolio, and gained some really lovely clients, I launched 2 free themes – Sakeena for WordPress and Life for Textpattern, and I taught a web development course, which started off great and slowly waned due to mid-summer-madness-syndrome affecting my students – I postponed the class until September.

It’s funny that some days I lament over my life, or lack of a ‘life’, and I know that there are working moms wishing to be able to stay at home, and stay at home moms longing to work – sometimes it just feels like a no-win kind of situation – but such is the nature of motherhood, it’s our ability to do what we believe is best for ourselves and our families that will help us find peace and fulfillment. My most important lessons – find time for some mom escapes, don’t panic, avoid the parent trap , and enjoy life!!

Now, the contest!!

One of my clients, Silver Lily, who has a really wonderful collection of beautiful handmade jewelry, has generously donated this lovely necklace and earring set – {a gorgeous glamorous sterling silver necklace with sparkling jet stones and a delicate filigree pendant hangs with high cut citrine briolettes. Matching earrings .approx length of necklace 15”.7mm.Earrings hang approx2.5”}

All you need to do is subscribe to this blog, either through your feed reader or email (if you’re already subscribed, thanks! and of course you’re also welcome to enter) and leave a comment here – I am doing a random draw on August 21st. Good Luck!!

Canada Day & the past 10 years

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This past Sunday was Canada Day aka Canadian independence day, I wanted to blog about it then, but as you may know I was in the middle of some ‘blog renovations’! (We went strawberry picking)

When I moved to Canada about 11 years ago, I was devastated, to say the least. At 18, my life was consumed with friends and rebelling against my parents, and there was nothing that I wanted more than to be left alone in Trinidad with my friends, so I spent my first summer here being completely depressed.

Crunchy tagged me a while ago and just like her, 10 years ago I was about to be married. When I started university, I never thought that I would be married at 20, I always thought that I would graduate and then head back ‘home to Trinidad’, never did I suspect that I could ever call Canada home.

My last 10 years have been filled with the biggest decisions and responsibilities that I’ve ever had to face, becoming a wife, becoming a mother, becoming an adult. Having experienced all these things here in Canada have contributed to making this country my home, my real home, and maybe it’s because my family is here and home is always with them, but I think it’s more than just that. You see, during my first week at university, I discovered religions I had never heard about before, I learnt that India had more than just one language (yeah, I know!), I found friends from all over the world, it was awesome! Diversity, the likes of which I had never seen before.

Today, I walk out with my headscarf and I, of course, still face racism but I also face the kindness and warmth of a people that truly appreciate people, and I’m always proud to call Canada my home.

I'll take a lot of love, but only a little happiness

I love that my heart is filled with love.
It means that it is full of compassion and humanity.
It means also that sometimes it is filled with the opposite of happiness… because how can we feel love without feeling hurt?

I fear that too much happiness may make me forget about God.
With a little happiness, I will surely be thankful.
With a little happiness, I will surely still feel sympathy.
With a little happiness, my heart can surely remain full of love.

When I feel the opposite of happiness, I hold tight to God, I appreciate the little things in life, the small mercies, the miracle of my babies changing into men little by little everyday.

When I feel the opposite of happiness, I see clearly, I am reminded that this life does end, and that I hope my true happiness is being saved for me in a better place.

When I feel the opposite of happiness, I know that I still have humanity, I know that I still care.

I know that while my world suffers from injustice, hate, and indifference, I can never feel bliss.

I know that I feel love, and that is better for me.

Everyday news from my home country makes me so sad, this is dedicated to the victims. Read just one of the stories.