To the brighter side

Sometimes I truly feel like I just want my life to fast-forward, to, I am not sure what, the end maybe? It feels as if it’s test after test and I really really want a rest. Sometimes.

But then, things happen like my almost 4 year old coming up to me with him wallet in his hand and says “mommy, you need money for your trip? well, here, you can have some of mine. how much do you need?” I think I almost broke down and started crying right there, except I was smiling and trying hard not to laugh and the unbelievable cuteness. I said, “baby, it’s 5 hundred dollars!” and he said “5 hundred dollars?! I cannot believe it!” And I tried harder not to laugh, then I opened his wallet and took out the US $1 bill and told him I was taking it because I would need that kind of money for my trip and then thanked him. He walked away very contented.

Can’t fast-forward. Just life each moment like it’s your last.

Have a happy holiday, whatever it is that you’re celebrating, and always share your laughter, love and happiness with those whom you treasure.

On being remembered

I’m pretty sure that the definition of true love is being there for a person when they are in need no matter the inconvenience, and showing care no matter how big your own problems may be.

My darling friend Organica remembers us even when she’s miles away, and even as we’re both almost always too busy to chat these days. No matter what she has to deal with in her own life, she always effortlessly shows her love.

The kids got enough books for a year of bedtime stories! And I would show you the chocolate covered cookies, except I ate them all, and the chai, except I am drinking it as I write this! I think there might have even been something in there for aunty Sid…

We love you too Organica!

Sometimes we all need someone to hold our hand

Or someone to hug us, or someone to look at us with kindness, or sometimes just a smile will suffice.

I’ve never, in my entire life, felt as lost as I did in the past 2 years. It was truly a harrowing experience, for so many different reasons. And I still, everyday, have to give myself little talks that things will be fine, that things are fine, that at some arbitrary, unknown-to-me, point in the future things will all be fine. It is a fair bit of work to convince myself though!

I emailed a client today because I had not heard from her all day (that was not normal!) and she admitted to having “one of those days”, and I told her the same thing that I’ve come to live by, “things will happen when they happen”.

I’ve been extremely fortunate to be able to work with mostly working mothers as my clients, it’s a wonderful experience because we are all struggling in many of the same ways and we can really empathize with one another. And in stark contrast to working in a huge corporation, it’s not really about the profits, it’s not really about “first to market”, it’s not really about competitors, most of the time it’s about making a difference, about sharing what we do best, what we know, helping one another, and sometimes… holding a hand.

We’re all struggling in some way, each of us is fighting our own battle, and I think we need to remember that sometimes a smile and some understanding is all a friend/sibling/parent/client/stranger may need from us.

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle

I saw this on an email forward and I immediately identified with it.

Once upon a time, I was really scared that I was bipolar. Well, I was scared that there was something really wrong with me, mentally. Like, if I was happy, I would be almost manic, I didn’t get sad, I got panic attacks, I didn’t get angry, I got enraged. Sometimes I felt like I was not really living my life but watching someone else live it for me. Sometimes I had no idea who I was.

I’ve since figured out what was wrong with me. Thankfully I do not have a metal problem, I had an emotional problem. I am now a different person than I was a year ago – completely different, and now I actually feel like myself, like I am the one living my life.

Anyway, there were times in my life I would get super pissed at any little thing, like a cashier being rude (in my opinion at least), but now, I’ve realized that, indeed, we are all fighting some battle. And being kind to someone sometimes makes the biggest difference in their life, or at least, their day. It also makes us feel much better. Try it!

The somewhat strange and bewildering melodrama of life

You know, sometimes I swear life is so totally stranger than fiction. Right?

I think I’ve said many times on this blog that I’ve always felt like my life was never my own, I always felt like I was being led down a path that I neither knew if I understood nor wanted, but I am of the belief that things occur as they are meant to, and although we all have our trials, in the end, I have faith that we get what is best for us.

I like to think that what’s important is not the bad things that happen to us, but the manner in which we choose deal with adversity. And although sometimes I tend to feel like life is just about the crappiest thing ever, usually I prefer to focus on the beauty of it, the moments of peace, the humanity, and I realize that without hardship, we probably won’t have the empathy that we have for one another, and what is a world without empathy?!

I love that life is such a journey, that the people that we interact with, if we let them, help us to grow, to learn, to change our perspectives, to experience things that we never knew we could.

I’ve been asked many times if I have regrets about the way my life turned out, and in all honesty, I believe that regret, like anger, is a wasted emotion, and of course there are things I would change if I had to do it over again, many, many things, but, had I not made those less than stellar decisions, I would not be the person I am today. To me, what really matters is that we learn from our past mistakes and we try to become better people.

I think you’ll agree that probably the one thing that almost everyone hopes to find in life is happiness, but to me happiness is a choice, it’s our ability to learn from the bad stuff, focus on the good stuff, smile, because smiles are great, and patiently have faith.

Now, choose to be happy!