The somewhat strange and bewildering melodrama of life

You know, sometimes I swear life is so totally stranger than fiction. Right?

I think I’ve said many times on this blog that I’ve always felt like my life was never my own, I always felt like I was being led down a path that I neither knew if I understood nor wanted, but I am of the belief that things occur as they are meant to, and although we all have our trials, in the end, I have faith that we get what is best for us.

I like to think that what’s important is not the bad things that happen to us, but the manner in which we choose deal with adversity. And although sometimes I tend to feel like life is just about the crappiest thing ever, usually I prefer to focus on the beauty of it, the moments of peace, the humanity, and I realize that without hardship, we probably won’t have the empathy that we have for one another, and what is a world without empathy?!

I love that life is such a journey, that the people that we interact with, if we let them, help us to grow, to learn, to change our perspectives, to experience things that we never knew we could.

I’ve been asked many times if I have regrets about the way my life turned out, and in all honesty, I believe that regret, like anger, is a wasted emotion, and of course there are things I would change if I had to do it over again, many, many things, but, had I not made those less than stellar decisions, I would not be the person I am today. To me, what really matters is that we learn from our past mistakes and we try to become better people.

I think you’ll agree that probably the one thing that almost everyone hopes to find in life is happiness, but to me happiness is a choice, it’s our ability to learn from the bad stuff, focus on the good stuff, smile, because smiles are great, and patiently have faith.

Now, choose to be happy!

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On anger and patience

Once upon a time I was a very angst-ridden, impatient person, and when I say very, I really mean, I could have quite possibly killed you if you didn’t give me exactly what I wanted, the way I wanted it, and fast!

I was one of those psychos on the road, who, if you somehow manage to piss off offend with your driving, would hunt you down and seek revenge, or those customers that are a complete nightmare to serve, you know the ones, who, if things are not exactly the way they ordered it, would make you want to run home and curl up into a fetal position for the rest of your life! Oh, how I wish I were exaggerating!

Anyways, as anyone on a spiritual journey would attest, two of the more important things are increased patience and decreased anger, which have been challenging, but which I think I have been successful at achieving to some extent; at least I am much more easy going than I used to be.

For years I’ve been actively trying to improve my patience and anger issues, for example, sometimes when I am driving behind someone who is sloooooow, I will try not to pass them, or get angry, but instead drive slowly behind them… I have found this to be one of THE most difficult things to actually do, as in sometimes I want to stab myself to escape the agony! But, I take deep breaths and think good thoughts, and smile, a lot, and speak kind words to them, as I push the thoughts of slowly torturing them out of my mind! Strangely enough, this is one of the exercises that have really helped me to be able to control myself in high tension situations.

My mom was telling me yesterday about how road rage has been the cause of quite a few accidents lately, and while I can totally understand road rage, I have come to the realization that it is not only not worth it, but it’s just really stupid! I am so much happier now that I am not a maniac! I know that this may seem completely obvious to most people, but sometimes, for people like me, it’s just not as obvious, but rage really gets us no where, learning to smile and forgive is just so much better, seriously.

I think that we all have these particular things that annoy us greatly, for me, it’s people who drive slowly, traffic, and bad customer service representatives, but getting angry was really hurting me more than anyone else… I would totally obsess about the situation and just end up being frustrated needlessly! Now, I, having learnt to let things go to a certain extent, have been a much happier and generally more likable person…or so I hope!

So, my point is, don’t let anger control you, think about the things that you really cannot handle, and then actively try to manage your emotions. Try it! I think you’ll be pleased to learn that you really don’t have to be angry!

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What’s in your heart

source

We went to the habitat for humanity information session today, it was nice, it was nice to know that so many people help one another in this world, it was nice because really, only when we connect with humanity we can feel real happiness.

Although I didn’t take part in Karen’s postcard swap this time around, sending someone a postcard to let them know that you thought about them can truly make that someone’s day… so go do that now! Or, you know, soon. Just don’t forget that it’s important to let the people you love and admire know how you feel about them.

I truly appreciate all of you!

On faith

Yesterday I wrote about finding comfort, but I didn’t speak about faith, which I think is deserving of an entire post all it’s own.

Although I was born into a Muslim family, I spent most of my life being more or less secular, I did what I thought was the basics but I didn’t really know much about my religion. At 19, when I started to explain it to my husband, I sort of understood more about it and we both found a love for the utter simplicity and fairness that is now unfortunately seldom ever associated with Islam.

My faith has been a really big part of me since then, but my life remained pretty much unchanged, until about 6 years ago, when, because of whatever reasons I made a conscious effort to look for something more, a sense of purpose, if you will.

There have been a number of occasions when I’ve said that my life has not been the way I anticipated, and no matter how many times I say it, it still remains a huge understatement, because in so many ways I have always felt like my life just happened and I had very little control over it.

When I got married at 20, neither of us really knew what we were getting into, and we both share the feeling that we were somehow meant to be together, given the very bizarre set of circumstances under which we met and became friends. I say that our life together has been filled with challenges, and it most certainly has, so much so that sometimes I am amazed that we have managed to get through it all, but, at the same, sometimes I am not amazed, because of my faith, I now see life as a journey, as a path, and I’ve learnt to live without regret, without the woulda’s and the shoulda’s, and I just believe that things will be as they are meant to be.

My faith has been an immense source of comfort for me, when life makes absolutely no sense, I can hold on to it and be guaranteed that the confusion will pass. It is for certain the only way that I ever feel real peace… “Surely in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” [Qur’an, 13.28]

Beginnings

Hi, I’m muslim. It’s September 11th today and I feel I should say something on the subject, but the truth is I’m tried. Tired of a lot of things, and sad about other things...

But, today I sent out postcards to a few of my American neighbors, as part of Karen’s postcard swap and I thought the theme of “beginnings” to be somewhat appropriate.

So, whatever it is that you’re beginning, I hope you find success, fulfillment, and happiness.

Love, Shaz.