The reality of blogging

For a while now I’ve wanted to write about the real me, but I just didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, or was it that I just didn’t have the “balls” to do it? Either way… one of my close high school friends read this blog and left me a comment that I read at 3am this morning and I felt like a fake, I feel like I put the best me forward, the amusing me, the good mom, the good wife, but it’s not the real me, and I know that I’ve said on a couple occasions that I feel like a hypocrite, and it’s because I really hate feeling like I am not being true, it literally causes me emotional turmoil…. and no, that is not an exaggeration!

I thought about saying that I am not this well-adjusted, I thought about saying that I am not always an optimist, that sometimes I cannot stand being me, that sometimes when I am alone I cry, that sometimes I am happy only so that my kids and family don’t worry about me, but what would be the point of that?

You know, I actually have a lot of trouble managing my emotions, emotionally-inept, if you will, but when I write, I feel like I can better articulate and understand what I am feeling, and maybe when I first started blogging, it was a way for me to escape the somewhat prison-ish nature of being a stay at home mom, and I didn’t really think that much about what I wrote, perhaps because I was mainly writing for myself, and maybe the 4 other people that stumbled upon it and thought I was amusing!

Now I write for you, I write for other parents, especially the new ones, the ones with doubts, the ones who make mistakes, the ones who struggle, so they know that they are not alone, I do that because I remember what I felt like when I had my first baby and I thought that I was the only one who didn’t know what to do, because I remember what it felt like when I had a second child and I didn’t think that I could ever survive motherhood.

I write for not-yet-parents, who are wondering what its like to be a parent, who are looking for encouragement, or reassurance, that even though it is a hard job, they’ll be able to do it. I write for all of you, to entertain you with my spectacular wit (well, I try anyways!), to make you smile, to give you hope.

I choose not to make this blog full of my fears and insecurities, but that does not mean that I don’t have any, I choose to see beauty in life, in the world, in humanity, instead of lamenting over the obvious injustice and challenges that we all know exists, I choose to inspire, and to encourage, and not to be bitter.

The real me, though, is facing a reality that I didn’t even know was mine, is learning that sometimes we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do, that I am, may be, not as strong as I imagined I was, or independent, or truthful, or as open, and I discovered being “selfless” should not mean that you literally forget about yourself. The real me, is perhaps not always this cool, or collected, or capable, but the real me is caring, the real me does try to be a good person, the real me is very real, and very flawed, and very not-well-adjusted, but you love me anyways, right?

Perks of blogging

And remember the very cool senseo coffee maker? Well, for a chance to get your very own for only $15, you can fill out this survey, only valid in the US though. Good Luck!

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Talking to Shaz

I think that I’ve mentioned Nisaa a few times before; it’s a muslim women community that I started about a year ago. One of the most popular features of Nisaa has been the weekly articles, written by a few talented women, on a wide variety of topics.

We’re starting a new podcast segment on Nisaa, and we hope to give you a glimpse into our thoughts and lives. The host, whose blogging pseudo name is iMuslim, is wonderful to chat with and listen to, so I do hope that the series will be beneficial and enjoyable!

The first podcast features me, so umm, please be kind.

Read more and listen to the podcast on Nisaa.ca

Birthdays, iMacs, and the end of Ramadan

Hi!
No, I didn’t forget that I had a blog! I have just been so overcome with ‘real’ life, that I haven’t had the urge to blog, and also I was happy to keep the post about awareness always and the contest on the homepage for the week. I hope that everyone is being more aware!

My first born is now officially 5! Yay! I missed doing an officially 5 post for him, sadly. I guess that’s ok because he has become almost unbearably mean to his brothers, now that he has official “big boy” status!

In other, most joyous news, yes, almost more joyous that the momentous occasion of my first born turning 5, I finally got myself a Mac.

Now, I am a designer and as such, working on a “windose”, as the Macophiles like to call it, machine was my secret shame. So far the Mac has certainly lived up to it’s reputation!

What I did not realize was that it would be soooo cool, and fun! I would seriously recommend the switch to anyone! My kids had much fun using the built in camera and apple’s Photo Booth software.

It’s the last few days of Ramadan and we are trying to get in some extra prayer and meditation.

Eid is the celebration that comes at the end of the month of Ramadan and is celebrated much like Christmas, with family, friends, food and festivities, and this year I thought that I would share my celebrations with you. So, I am going to be video blogging our Eid live! Well, delayed live, at least. Look out for my updates throughout the day on either Friday or Saturday. See you then!

The magical art of facebooking

Facebook, oh how I love thee…

Back in May when I signed up for Facebook, I did it ritually… another social network site that I had to be a part of, for, you know, networking. And what I thought was that I would be able to build upon my relationships with other bloggers and my reader community. Of course some of that did happen, I do communicate with some of my readers on a more personal level through Facebook, but what I didn’t expect, was that I would connect with many people from my “real’ life.

For the past months, I have been finding old friends, classmates, colleagues, even some of those not-too-fond-off acquaintances, and as I reminisce, my husband would roll his eyes and give me his look of complete disinterest. You see, up until last week, my dear husband had no interest in finding people from his past, “why would I want to find anyone”, he naively said, trying to convince himself, I think, because this past week, I have had to listen to many, many stories of the little geeky, indian boy and his thrilling childhood misadventures! Most of the time I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation! Ummm, sort of. Needless to say, I have not uttered another word about my past.

Nostalgia people, you gotta love it!

It’s a funny Facebook phenomenon, but although we first get in touch with classmates from college or high school, it seems that the ones from elementary school are the ones that we are most excited to catch up with! Is it the innocence of those friendships that we had at 7 and 8 years of age, that make them stand the test of time? Or is it because these are the people that knew us when we were at our best, before we developed “baggage”, before we became the flawed adults that we are? Or maybe it’s only because we’ve forgotten any of those very old wounds, that clearly pale in comparison to caring for a sick child, or losing a loved one?

The most amazing part though, must be the new friendships that are emerging, and blossoming, with people I’ve only just met, or with other bloggers, but especially with old classmates who I’ve overlooked growing up, and are now so thankful to have in my life!

Ah, the magic of Facebook!