On things that heal no-sleeping

I slept last night. Too well maybe, because I woke up late.

My friend called me very late, like 11pm or something like that. We talked for an hour and a half, I think, about stuff that only slightly bothers me. Then, I didn’t look at pictures of dead children, or broken houses, or think about other things in my life which bother me, possibly even more than war, I just went to bed.

If you don’t know how I sleep, well, I sleep on like 1/8th of the bed; the other 7/8ths is share between my 2 youngest children usually, sometimes all 3, but the eldest sleeps like he’s in a cocoon, so he and I end up sharing my 1/8th when he’s there. At points in the night, I hear things like “hold my hand mummy”, or “I want to sleep on you mommy”, and then move myself into positions that accommodate these requests. This, although the least of my sleeping problems, has made me resolve to find my children their own beds. Because, really, even though I know they will still be back in bed with me, at least I can maybe get 1 hour of undisturbed sleep. Maybe.

Anyway, thanks for comments and thoughts. And now, some nonsense about single mothers (I did not read the actual offending post because I rather not, but I liked this response).

Motherhood: never a win-win situation

I’m not going to talk about Sarah Palin, or Sarah Palin, or, umm, Sarah Palin, or, wait, even, Sarah Palin, because, honestly 1) I don’t know enough to have an opinion on the woman and 2) I am waaay too exhausted to make myself care to know enough to have an opinion on the woman. Sad, I know.

When I started working again a few months ago, my mom and the kids’ dad would get them dressed for school, and I would pick them up and take care of them in the evenings, and it went well except that I always felt like I missed the mornings with them and I never got to make them breakfast or lunch which meant that I couldn’t be sure they were eating enough. It also meant that my mom had to wake up early, drive to my house and help out, and I do not like the idea of burdening anyone with my responsibilities.

Since school started again though, I’ve switched my schedule so that I can be there in the mornings… I get dressed early, wake up my littlest before 7am, drop him to my moms house, come back home, get the other 2 up and fed and dressed, then drop them off to school, then get to the train station before 9am. Then, in the evenings, I go pick them up from my mom’s house and take them home for dinner and everything else… it’s exhausting, to say the least.

I hate that I have to take my, usually sleeping, baby and drop him off without being able to spend any time with him, I hate that it’s always a bit of a rush for me in the mornings, I hate that it’s a HUGE rush in the evenings because I don’t want to leave them too long without me since I know everyone is usually tired. And I’ve realized that no matter what we do, as mothers, it will never be enough, it will never be win/win, we will never feel like we’re doing everything right, but I feel like the most we can do is try, and I really want to believe that the best that we can do will be ok. Right?

Random thoughts for you, just because I can’t exactly share them with my 2 sick children

1) I completely agree with this:

Turning 30 appears to be linked to a marked increase in talking nonsense, BIZARRE BEHAVIOR, and having conversations with and about yourself

Why is this? Seriously, I would like to know, because I am starting to feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore!

2) Why are my kids always sick?

3) Just so you know, I am talented and can blog as well as hold a 2 year old on my chest!

4) My middle child is sadly destined for a life of being the one that is always left out, even if he is very sick.

5) It’s very difficult to work with sick children, or think clearly, or maybe it’s just because I am 30 now… who knows?!

6) My 3 year old, although toilet trained, decided to wear a diaper for the entire day yesterday because he was sick, and sadly, I didn’t try to discourage him.

7) Is life really complex, or is it just me?

8) My 2 year old willingly gave me many kisses today!! He MUST be really sick!

9) The high point of my day was when I got a delivery of books, Do Unto Otters: A Book About Manners, I really think that I love kids books more than my kids!! And I also got Cairo by G. Willow Wilson, who is such a really lovely person, you can get to know a little about her on Nisaa.

10) And finally, I really feel like a sock

Do you hate having kids?

Well me neither, but let me just say that after 2 days of caring for them practically on my own, I am almost there!

Firstly, really hungry children can turn into monsters fast, not that I was starving them or anything like that, but I did get back into bed this morning and it sort of got late for breakfast! Secondly, 3 small children are very hard to manage, I mean VERY.hard.to.manage, seriously, not even “challenging”, it’s DIFFICULT! Thirdly, my smallest kid is incredibly spoilt and I am not sure what to do about it, I mean, he has complete meltdowns if he does not get want he wants… but being the discipline obsessed mother that I was with the other 2 kids, I have absolutely no idea how to handle this blatant lack of proper and appropriate behavior!

To blog is not to pay for therapy, so, please excuse this clearly ill-prepared and un-thought-out post. Ok, as you were…

If I hear the word “mommy” one more time, my head may actually explode

Just sayin’…

He’s actually not the source, since he doesn’t say “mommy” yet, but I’ve been sick for most of the week and I think it’s getting worse! Currently one side of my face and head is completely aching due to a sinus infection, and it’s accompanied by the flu, so as you can well imagine, it’s been, ummm, fun?