Kids, are they equal?

Newborn babies cry a lot, at least so ‘they’ say.

We were alone with the newborn last night, as my eldest wanted to stay with his grandma, and in true second child spirit, so did the toddler.

So my husband and I were alone with the baby, and he really cried a lot (the baby, not my husband)… even from the time that I left my mom’s house with him… did he miss his brothers? Although it was his feeding time, and I felt guilty about starving him just so that we can get home a little earlier, I really wondered if he was missing his eldest brother’s constant chatter while in the van… He cried a bit before he went to sleep… and then he cried a lot this morning… my husband’s answer is to give him a pacifier and put him in his crib! My actual words to my husband were “pretend that he is a newborn baby”…

I guess that it is just natural that we give less attention to the children that come after the first one… I guess its not very fair… I guess that we should treat them equally… I guess we really can only try to do the best we can…

My grandmother has a really wise saying, she had 9 kids and when asked about which one she liked best, her answer’s always the same… she says “I have 5 fingers and they are all different, but if you cut off any one, would the pain not be the same?”

It seems like its true… we can only really appreciate our parents when we become parents ourselves!

Dealing with preschoolers.

Kids lead to chaos.

Chaos in your marriage… in the house… in the car… at grandma’s house… as soon as you have 1 kid, life as you know it is over, and don’t even try to get it back. Instead, move on… have some more kids…

I’m only kidding about that… unless you want to experience “real” joy… like me!

I usually fall into the same trap of planning to do a certain task during the day… which leads to either neglecting the kids, or getting stressed out if they don’t allow me to execute my plan… (Like many parents I am sure). But today I discovered that if I make a plan for all of us together, then there is a higher probability that I can get them to cooperate with me.

A friend of mine (and a teacher) gave me a really good idea, which I would like to share with parents of kids (especially older toddlers and preschoolers). We made a schedule and colour coordinated the time of the day… We have ‘foody time’, ‘tv time’, ’play time’, ’colouring time’, ‘computer time’, ‘outside time’, ‘bath time’, and ’sleepy time’… where each activity is a specific colour. This way, my son can start understanding that he’s done one activity and its time for the next. Today there were less arguments, negotiations, and ‘deals’!! Of course, there will be the days when the schedule works about as well as a sock, but I think for the most part, this seems to be a great way to make life a little less chaotic. Good job Sabzari!!

Who’s sleeping in your bed.

Kids are always in our bed… at least it seems that way to me. We have an elaborate co-sleeping plan going on here… both boys have their own beds in our room, and the baby has his crib here too.

I “thought” that if they had their own beds in our room that they would not need to come into our bed… but I guess I was wrong… again! Some nights they are all in the bed… and it’s a queen size bed… not large enough for 5 bodies in my opinion…

The main offender is the middle child, I think that he has figured out that the only way to get full attention is while the other 2 are asleep… he has become a bit of an insomniac. So one night, he gets off his bed (with his pillow) and runs to my side of the bed (as he usually does), and he saw my eldest son sleeping with me… he totally “freaks” out… full blown tantrum in the middle of the night… EVERYONE wakes up… my husband is trying to get him to come on his side, he is throwing himself on the floor, the baby is crying… My eldest just gets off the bed, goes back in him own bed, and goes back to sleep… like we are disturbing him too much…

Middle child syndrome? He wanted to sleep on the floor… we had to wait for him to tire himself out, “almost” fall asleep on the floor, and then put him back into HIS OWN bed… poor kid! But of course before the morning comes, he will end up back in our bed.

The worst part about them in our bed, even worse than sleeping on the edge of the bed… in one position… usually waking up to “a lot” of body pain and stiffness… The worse part has to be the random smells that emerge from beneath the blanket… usually waking me from sleep… and to whom does it belong??

At least my husband could put the blame on someone else now!

Mine not yours!

Kids are possessive… as everyone knows… with everything… and I do mean ‘everything’!

My older 2 are always battling over a toy, or a book, or spoons, or bags, or packaging material… pretty much anything! But lately, they’ve added the baby to the list!

The eldest one really loves to play with the baby… I guess that since he already knows what its like to have a younger sibling, he does not have any jealousy with this new one. The ‘almost 2 year old’ is a bit threatened by the newborn, and usually stays away from him…

So yesterday, the ‘almost 2 year old’ was playing with the newborn and my eldest says to him “Go away, he is MINE! You don’t even like him!”… And so started yet another fight!

I have used the “timeout” method so many times that it really doesn’t even work anymore! Now I just take away the object in question, tell them its “MINE”, and let them cry about it for a while…is that bad parenting?

Everything really is ‘mine’…

Toddler nightmare

Toddlers are odd little beings…I think that this age group is the most unpredictable…

My almost 2 year old was having a fit of crying and screaming today during his nap… he was loud and inconsolable…and he was still asleep.

Back when I only had the 1 kid and still had the time, energy, and desire to read those ‘give-me-advice-for-my-kid’ books, I thought that it was pretty odd when they described the toddler nightmare. Only in toddler-hood does this happen…and there is really nothing that you can do for them…just sit there and look at them till the show is over!

Meanwhile the older one woke up and told me that his brother was crying…like we should look into it…then 5 mins later (the toddler is still crying)…he wakes up again and asks me “why” his brother is crying…well if ‘anyone’ knows the answer, and more importantly…how to get them to stop, I think that they deserve a medal! (and please let me know what the secret is!!)

Its now 11:04pm (or 10:04pm according to yesterday’s time), and the kids are in our bed hugging my husband…they still not asleep (although my husband is) …does daylight “savings” time really save anyone time?

Maybe he was crying because he was upset and confused about the whole changing time thing…