Posted on April 3, 2013 by shazia

You know sometimes in life, if you’re lucky, someone comes along and points out all your faults.

After you get over your defensiveness and anger and ego. And after you feel like you were so beaten, and like you almost died, and you only barely survived. You wake up one day and you realize that you’ve changed so much that you can’t even recognize the person you used to be.

The source of healing for me has, without doubt, been the Qur’an and re-learning about Islam properly and truly. Somehow everything I read, heard, and learnt in the past two years applied to my life experiences, answered my questions, helped me understand things that I just could never understand.

“Certainly, with the hardship, there is relief”
Qur’an 94:5

I have a lot of gratitude and appreciation for all of Nouman Ali Khan talks. His explanations of the words of Qur’an and the meaning of Qur’an has truly been life-altering. I recommend it to anyone who is searching.

“I’d rather lose a fight, than miss the war”

Posted on March 22, 2013 by shazia

I am sharing this song because I feel like if my life at this moment was a TV series, this song would be the theme song. The thing that I’ve come to realize is that when you lose the fight, and you feel completely exhausted, and like the entire world is against you, and absolutely no one understands you, or truly care, and you’re so heartbroken that you feel lost, and you completely want to scream at everyone but you just don’t have the energy because you’ve been so beaten that you can barely stand up… Somehow that’s when the truth shows up, and when you see it, and you accept it, and you manage to stand up, that’s when the war truly begins. But that’s when you’ll realize that you’re finally ready to win.

Preparation takes sacrifice and patience, and there is no winning without preparation.

Happy Friday!

Smile

Posted on January 17, 2013 by shazia

Good morning, oh readers! I had no idea what to blog about for a long while. But this morning, I was walking and someone I did not know smiled and waved at me and I thought that was pretty awesome of her. So, I just want to remind everyone that smiling is cool.

And here is a link for the muslims, and also non-muslims… Smile, it’s sunnah!

Alright, go off and smile at some people now!

The finishing touches

Posted on December 3, 2012 by shazia

This is not really about finishing touches per se, but 1) last night, my son said that he wanted to “do the finishing touches” for dinner (aka, turn the pot at the very end, while the stove was off), and 2) sister #1 does like to refer to 2012 as the year of change, and it is coming to an end…

Anyway. What I was actually thinking about was that one of the hardest things for me to change about myself is my lack of respect for time. And I say that being fully aware that it is in fact a really terrible trait to have. I think I’ve been trying all year to correct this one thing about myself, as it manifests itself in so many ways… not being punctual, missing deadlines, saying that I was going to do things I just didn’t do… it can go on and on.

It was not until I read the words…

“O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do?”
[Qur'an 61:2]

…That I truly felt it in my heart. And I knew that I had no excuse, I simply had to change.

I started small. I tried to make it as manageable as I could for myself, because I knew that it would be a very difficult thing for me to do, and just acknowledging that helped a lot. I made one list everyday of everything that I said I was going to do within that day. Then, I kept track of what I did and didn’t manage to accomplish. Then, instead of focusing on the things I missed and feeling like this was just not working out, I added them to my list for the next day and hoped that I could just do better next time.

Honestly, being nice and encouraging to myself is not something that I am used to, so I had to first get used to that – which happened previously within “the year of change”. It is necessary though, to be nice and encouraging to yourself when you’re trying to change things about yourself, especially those really tough, hard-wired-into-your-very-being, hard-to-change things!

But, hey… a goal, a plan, a strong will, encouragement (even if it is only from yourself!), and things do start to change… I am doing MUCH better at accomplishing things on my list, and these days, more often than not my kids are early for school!

PS. Creme caramel in photo above courtesy of sister #2!

Nutella cupcakes and the struggle

Posted on November 19, 2012 by shazia

Sister #2 and kid #2 decided to make cupcakes. And I wanted something that could be topped with nutella. These were yummy! Red velvet recipe courtesy of The Food Network”.

In other news, it’s been almost 5 years since I got divorced, and of all the things I had to start doing on my own, taking snow off the car and shoveling it were the things I hated the most. And when I say “hated”, I mean that those things literally would cause me to cry because I found them so difficult and overwhelming.

One day, earlier this year, sister #1 pointed out that it was part of my struggle, and I should accept it and try my best. So I did. While “the snow” was certainly not the most formidable challenge I had to overcome in the past year, I did learn a very valuable lesson.

I’ve discovered that there are some things that are certainly worth struggle and sacrifice. And that a huge amount of inner strength comes from bearing hardship with courage and patience.

On Facebook

Posted on November 11, 2012 by shazia

I used to think that as long as Facebook was used for the ‘right reasons’ that there was no harm in it. And I used to think that I was one of those people who did use it for the ‘right reasons’. Communicating with friends, keeping up with family who lived far away, a business marketing tool… you know, I used it the right way.

Anyway, I would often say that I had nothing to hide, and whatever I posted on there was fine for anyone to know about, and for the most part that was probably true. I was also not a stalker. Not that much anyway. I didn’t go making trouble for anyone. I didn’t display my dirty laundry. And so on and so on…the right way.

What I didn’t realize though, is that although I was very good at being logical and practical, things that I saw would affect my heart. And I was not great at recognizing my own heart, so I didn’t know, until it was too late, that I was in fact being negatively affected by the things I was witnessing via Facebook.

I also didn’t realize until long after I had gotten off Facebook, just how much influence it indirectly had on my life. I no longer cared to summarize my life via a status, or photo, or anything else. Then I understood just how much my ego was passively dependent on the comments and “likes” that I would receive, and on the general impression that I was creating of myself via my Facebook profile. I was attributing a fair amount of my self-worth to what people thought about me. It was truly an eye-opening experience for me.

I have to say, I am really enjoying life without Facebook. I would have never considered myself to be someone who would be affected by other people’s lives, but in reality, I was that person. And to some extent, we all are. Images and experiences shape our hearts more that we can probably ever truly understand, and the thing is, it’s our hearts that need the most protection from things that don’t benefit us.

Hearts

Posted on November 6, 2012 by shazia

Sister #1 has been spotting random (not-so-random) hearts for the past few months. Now, the entire household is into her heart-spotting mission, especially the kids… heart-shaped rocks, heart-shaped egg yolk (yes, really!), heart-shaped chocolate chips in cookies… we’ve seen it all! The photo above is my favorite so far, it was spotted by sister #1 and I in the parking lot at the movies, made by tire tracks.

Anyway, I think we’ve spent most of our lives, sister #1 and I, being pessimistic about things. Not intentionally, and for me, not even knowingly because I honestly thought I was quite a positive-thinking person, but just because of how our lives unfolded, we always tend to assume that things never actually worked out.

Over the past year however, we’ve witness things that we could have never imagined, we’ve gotten acquainted with personality traits within ourselves that we don’t remember ever having, we’ve changed in ways that we probably would never truly be able to describe or even understand. It has been, without doubt, a truly live-altering year for both of us.

What I’ve learnt about positivity though, is that it’s an amazing thing! I realize that this is common knowledge, but to really have a positive outlook in your heart is just something I don’t remember ever experiencing before now. That’s not to say that everything that’s happened to us has been awesome, no, quite contrary actually, it’s been the most difficult year that we’ve ever had so far. The thing is, though, that when I face any challenge now, I know deep in my heart that it’s going to work out.

So remember that whatever hardships we experience is for a greater good, and there will be benefit from it, and it will end, and ease will come.

Serendipity

Posted on October 31, 2012 by shazia

We celebrated Eid ul Adha last Friday – a celebration of the legacy of prophet Abraham (upon whom be peace). Belated Eid Mubarak to everyone who celebrated. May all our prayers and sacrifices be accepted.

So. For some reason, the word “serendipity” came up in a conversation between sister #2 and me. I was all like “I love that!”, to which she was all like “what? why? I don’t. What does it even mean”. Then we both made a “google serendipity” mental-note-to-self, and proceeded to discuss the concept.

I’ve always been an “everything happens for a reason” kind of person. But over the past year, I’ve started to notice and appreciate all the things that just happen to work out exactly as we want. Not just me, or her, but in general, anyone. And it’s been amazing. We started calling it “random-not-so-random-awesomeness”. Seriously.

The thing is, appreciating these “gifts” that we get that make us smile, that makes us genuinely happy, helps us to remain grateful. And in the worst of times, we need those little things to help us remember that there is awesomeness happening everywhere.

Try it! Every time something just works out “randomly”, sit back and really take in all the moments, mishaps, wrong turns, right turns, and frustration that led to that moment of awesomeness, and be thankful for it. Soon you’ll look at every cringe-worthy moment in your life as a learning experience and a stepping stone to the next bit of awesomeness!

Serendipity: random-not-so-random-awesomeness!

Tacos and the September that everything changed

Posted on October 15, 2012 by shazia

Tacos are awesome! They are really great dinner fare for kids. I think we’ve only had tacos once in the past year though, so when someone mentioned tacos for dinner, everyone was very excited. And really, why should anyone not be excited about tacos?

Usually, we have an assortment of stuff as toppings, which changes depending on what items present themselves at the time of preparation. Today though, we had some “specialty” items, which I’ll point out because they were yummy… 1) Sauteed zucchini and mushrooms, and 2) Guacamole. And that’s because sister number 2 prepared today’s tacos and she likes to spoil us!

So. This brings me to the September that everything changed. Or so I like to call it. And I may or may not share with you all of the things that changed this September, because there were a LOT of things, but one of the better changes was that my other sister moved in with us. It’s really all kinds of awesome living with my 2 sisters and 3 sons. Truly.

Anyway, I also decided randomly last week to go on this ketogenic diet. It’s been about 5 days, I think. And I cheat a fair amount. But I did manage to have my tacos with lettuce, and it looked really festive and I said, “this is like a fiesta!”… out loud. Yup, I did say that.

Thanksgiving & sweet potatoes

Posted on October 9, 2012 by shazia

We are not really thanksgiving-celebrating kind of people, but yesterday, completely by accident, I apparently made a very Italian thanksgiving meal. Or so I was told at least. And it was really yummy so I thought I would share the recipe for the sweet potatoes. The only thing is that I don’t remember how long I cooked it for, but I leave you to figure that out on your own.

Ingredients:
5 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 tbsp brown sugar (I can’t exactly remember how much I put, but I think it was about that)
a couple dashes of cinnamon and cayenne pepper
salt to taste
drizzle of olive oil

Guidelines:
1) Add dry ingredients to the sweet potatoes, and the olive oil and mix well together.
2) Then put into a 350 degree Fahrenheit, pre-heated oven to cook until desired softness. Probably about 40-60 minutes.
3) Remove and enjoy!